Below, I reproduce a passage from a book I am about to write and who should be publish after two years and entitled: "THIS CRAZY THING WE CALL LIFE”. The following passage comes from the Chapter 6, entitled: Time-speech and the self.
"The relationship with time: take time to meet ... Today I'm 27 years old and many people went on board of my life and have registered their equation. Some were harder than others to solve, and I'm still deciphering the equation posed to me than by others. Some equations are incomplete, and I hope I will get others elements over time. But what is a life to solve hundreds or perhaps thousands of equations? I often like to consider this life as a great laboratory in which we are called to take a test for "real life" and "death" can just be consider as the end of the race for the final correction.
The paradox or the problem is that everything look like each of us had a clock veiled that no one knows exactly how long he has to solve his test, so the end of anyone test can ring at any time. Some people spend their time trying to convince others that we are al solving the same test- which I strongly doubt it is true- and they want to impose on others the way to solve it. The main consequence is that their attitude prevent them from focusing on them along, and also represent a confession of weakness and fear to face their doubts, their questions, and paradoxes of existence. I think we have all being at one time or another in front of these people to convince themselves that their equation is true feel obliged to show you that yours is wrong. In fact, this kind of people just don’t want to admit how dysfunctional their life and the perception of themselves are. They are just not confident about life.
This is have just logic in a dualistic or binary world where we have just learn how to create "win-lose" strategies because we were told that the "win-win" were the result of naïve spirit and dreamers ; we have been taught that this society has cute versus ugly, poor versus rich, "winners face the losers" stars and shit ...and by our attitude we are making to maintain the system.
The problem is that very few people who have done enough deep work on themselves to have a "self centered". In most cases, there is an oversized ego, or the other is oversized. And that's the point of departure "of social clashes.
If we were really focused, we could develop the potential of each meeting, and may be say things like: “this one taught me poetry and love of words, this one has made me promise to never give up my dreams, this one taught me how to apologize, this one has been for me a very vital person in my evolution and my life. Another supported me, encouraged, and loved me. We need to realize that every event (even the most painful) was placed in our path and life for us to go further. Why don’t we change our mind?
I don’t believe in the necessity for school, however I believe in its merits. I think there should be an academic material which would be mandatory for everyone: for students and for non- students. It should be called: "the responsibility of words."
If there is so many ills in society today it is because we have not enough sense of “responsibility words. I think it is Platon who said: "Philosophize is to realize what language means." I also like that other word of Jesus who said: "Judgement Day, men will account for every idle word they have spoken, because by thy words you shall be justified, and by thy words you shall be condemned."
Indeed, for too many people I meet today, I see resonances of words that were spoken in their childhood or youth or recently in a relationship and have broken or weakened them forever. If you see their life, you will realize that despite appearances, they can’t take it no more! I found this in workshops that I lead and where I often see people who are locked up or are trapped in victimization scenarios they simply don’t want to leave. You hear phrases like: "... why do you want to change my mind? Or why do you pretend to help me? Or it’s others people fault ..."
I finally realize it along in my relationships, my experience and also by watching others, I think the great utopia of our time is to claim or pretend that we can make another person happy . If you think the contrary, just ask yourself: “Why are we so often unhappy?”
Simply because we always tend to expect happiness from the outside. The real problem is that you might be an ideal person, whatever you do, you'll never make another person happy if inside of herself, she didn’t decide to be happy. Indeed, it is very easy for the human mind to smear mud on the pure gesture and to cheat on itself.
Let us realize that as men, women, "teachers", friends, politicians, administrators, or whoever; let us recognize the power of words, and become aware of the power we can have on others: on students, on citizens, friends, people we love or we just deal with, let us realize that we can build edify or destroy with a simple word!
Let us realize that we don’t work on the ground or cement, we work on humans!
One say that of all creation, man is the only animal able to talk; so let’s try to honored that ...